“You like to think that you’re a good person. You never meant for this to happen. You never intended for things to be like this.”
Those words were spoken by a client of ours, Sean. For years, Sean and his wife were in an abusive relationship, and it all happened in front of their children. Because it was mutually abusive, neither of them ever went to the authorities.
Finally, after fourteen years of a bad situation, she got in her car and left. Sean hasn’t seen her since.
Understandably, Sean’s son had a lot of anger over the situation. He ended up taking that anger out on Sean, and Sean reciprocated.
Sean loves his son, and would do anything for him, yet he found himself being physically abusive toward him. Depression was persistent. Suicide seemed like the only way out. Sean even went as far as purchasing a shotgun.
On April 21, 2014, The Oklahoman ran an article on Family Builders. In that article, they had one single paragraph that mentioned our Batterer’s Intervention Program:
Another program Family Builders provides is the Batterer’s Intervention Program that focuses on retraining thinking patterns and addresses issues of power and control. It is a 52-week program geared towards perpetrators of domestic violence.
Sean wanted to exhaust every option before suicide, so he made a call. Just a few months later, he started classes.
It was a transformative experience for Sean. He later shared, “It was a lifeline I was able to take hold of and pull back from the brink.”
Sean embraced the classes and did the work, and his life changed as a result.
“This was the path I was looking for, the way forward… To be the man that I knew I could be.”
Sean knows the problem is bigger than just his experience. But he believes there is hope for all of us, especially in Oklahoma. Sean shared, “Not only can individuals change, but society can change too. There is help, there is hope, there is a path forward.”
Watch Sean’s story in the video below.